So I removed .6 lb. this week.
With the whole scheme of things (Valentine's Day yesterday, having to order out Mexican food one night this week, a monthly friend who showed up unannounced this morning), it is not that bad. I could have gained .6, I suppose. Or not lost anything at all. Still, I was hoping for more. The sad thing about the whole thing is that when I was bigger, the weight came off faster. There was more of it, and it literally felt like it fell away. Now, that is not the case. So there's that. I suppose it is the determined Capricorn in me, but I want to see measurable results. And I want to see them now.
I think I am also in a sour mood because my meeting today kind of blew. You know, I looked up at the group of ladies who had congregated there and I felt like I should probably just leave. But I stayed because I feel it is important to stay for meetings. I wish that I hadn't. Today's meeting was a good one--all about what kind of foods that you buy and use--but the meeting itself was made up of a bunch of old, Southern women, their white hair all done up in Granny fro's, wearing sweatpants. When I walked over in my leopard print peep toes, there was an audible hush, almost a collective sigh that I was crashing the party as they all talked about their knee problems and their inability to understand the Points Plus plan. My meeting leader called everyone to order and started talking about kitchens. A few of the ladies scoffed that they never go into their kitchens if they can help it. Which is fine, you know. You don't cook? Cool. I don't sew. Anyway, as the meeting went on, the leader talked about the kitchen being a minefield and I raised my hand and said that I struggled with this because I like to bake so much and it is hard to keep from baking things for baking's sake and then having them laying around all week. When I said this, this woman in the front loudly scoffed and goes, "I don't have time to have that problem." And I fumed for the rest of the meeting.
Look lady. I have three kids, one of which still nurses and wears cloth diapers, another of which has dance class two evenings a week and competitions on the weekends and another of which is an active 7 year old boy. I work full-time, and I have a commute. I keep my house clean, I prepare nearly every bite that my kids put in their mouths, and I do all of the shopping. I spend a lot of the rest of my time making sure that I'm teaching my kids something, since they go to public school and don't really get the stuff they need there. I also squeeze in the time to go running every now and then so that I don't resemble a human pile of mashed potatoes in a pair of purple sweatpants LIKE SOMEONE I SEE HERE.
Ok, now I feel better. I think that is what I needed.
Anyway, my meeting is not usually like that--usually it is a nice mix of youngish stay at home mom's and people on their lunch breaks from work. Everyone is usually really supportive and sweet to each other, and although I am one of the younger ones, I never feel out of place. This week, there was just a lot of negative energy. I don't know what the deal was. The meeting itself was kind of meh too because people brought in their favorite foods and meals, and our leader's consisted of a box of Hamburger Helper chicken fried rice (that she prepares without the oil and the egg) and a bottle of sugar free pancake syrup which she pours over steamed carrots for instant "Japanese carrots". BLECH. So I found myself feeling rebellious again, in that same railing against the faux foods way. You know how I do. I felt pretty inadequate with my contributions to the discussion too--a bag of ready washed spinach (throw it on sandwiches! in smoothies!) and a plastic yogurt cup from my yogurt maker. You should have seen some of the faces when I mentioned that I make my own yogurt. I might as well have casually mentioned that I also shit in a hole in my backyard.
So overall, I'm a bit down with the whole thing, but I'm still truckin' on. Send me good vibes this week! I will need them to stay on track.