Wednesday, February 9, 2011

This is how student loans make me feel:

I work for a college, and anytime I have a student come in and ask me about getting a loan, I want to say, "DON'T DO IT! BECOME A HOT DOG VENDOR! GO OFF THE GRID! LIVE IN A SUBWAY TUNNEL!!!"

I'm sure you can tell this, but I have had some student loan drama, and to be honest, I'm too tired of the whole thing to rehash it here. (And, to be honest, why would you want to know about the many HOURS I have spent on the phone with various people who may or may not be inebriated talking about why this department has the checking account information and the other doesn't.) But here's a little known fact:

The government can take your tax refund.

This was just mentioned to me, in a roundabout odd way, mostly as a threat of what would happen if I didn't call back within an hour (Note: it actually takes more like years of nonpayment! Not snafus and weird questions. So the guy who told me that, all nonchalantly can go blow himself. Seriously.) with a resolution about the loan that I have been paying monthly for several years. And although this does not apply to me, it shook me to my very core because I was all like, "BITCH, I know you are not getting between me and my motherfucking Ipad." Because that is what I am using my refund for.

This is just a hope, really, as it started last night with Matt and I doing our taxes and then deciding that we should a) have sex and make about 5 more babies for the tax credits and b) since I am decidedly Team Apple and he is decidedly Team Droid we are going to buy a tablet computer each and then use them to fight epic duels on our front porch where one of us will be blinded and then shoved into our fire bowl. Good news! The kids get to roast marshmallows!

However, in reality, I know that we will most likely use it on groceries, mascara and books, which is basically what every form of gift money we've ever gotten has been spent on.

Anyway, this is a short, nonsensical post, but I want you to know this, oh gentle readers. Please teach your children that they should 1) Never go to college and 2) Buy an Ipad. Haters to the left.


  1. I hate student loans. I remember my 10th grade English teacher telling me she was STILL paying on student loans and they were worth every penny.

    I have tens of thousands of loans, no degree, and a job I got off skill and education not found during my years on campus. Sucks.

  2. My student loans were worth it, I guess, because college was fun, and I think I got a lot out of it.

    But then I look at the fact that I have spent my day planning a Career and Resume Workshop for my students and I realize that I would be better served taking the workshop myself.

  3. I get free tuition, but I have to pay for fees and books, therefore I've had to take out small loans. :-/ I'm really hoping to find a PT job so that I don't have to take out any more for the next three years.