Friday, January 7, 2011

What to Wear When You Need to Be Rescued

This morning I awoke to a faint dusting of snow on our deck. This is nothing new. In fact, I can't remember the last time I woke up and didn't see snow/ice/freezing precipitation out there. I got ready and went to work. My car started slipping a bit when I turned to go up the hill where my office is. And then, well, I almost turned a donut in the parking lot here at the office.

Excuse my language ya'll: I fucking hate snow.

This should come as no surprise, because I may have mentioned this once or twice, or you know, 800 times. But my hate grows and festers. And it may be becoming completely unhealthy.

Let's just say that if the Snow family moved to my neighborhood, I would put a flaming bag of poop on the doorstep. And I would TP all their trees and use acid to write the word "BITCH" in their grass.

And while we're on the subject of violent, vitriolic hate, I HATE when people post on Facebook constantly with this kind of crap: "I pink puffy heart the snow! SOOOOO glad my kiddos are home from school! Gonna drink some hot chocolate and snuggle!" "The snow is gorgeous...gonna go take a picture with my Rebel. I LOVE photography...and SNOW!!!" "Yea for snow! Cause we never get snow! It is like Saudi Arabia around here usually, but today we get snow! YEA!" HATE. Put down your instant hot cocoa, Snowbunny, while I beat you with THE SHOVEL I had to use to get my car out this morning.

(Deep breaths. Deep cleansing breaths.)

Anyway, thankfully, I dressed for rescue today:

Riding pants (you know you love them): Merona from Target

Black turtleneck: Merona for Target

Puffy vest: Old Navy

Boots: FRYE Harness 12 Rs

Necklace: American Eagle knockoff fireball (which one of my cousins in law, who used to work at the Crew, thought was totally J.Crew. Score one for cheap little me.)

I wore this outfit for a couple of reasons. A) It is freaking cold, and I like the warmth of the puffy vest because it is socially acceptable to wear at the desk, whereas a coat would just be too much and B) If I am to careen off of the road and die in a ditch somewhere, at least I will be wearing my Frye boots. The rescuers will surely note, "Yes, she was ill-equipped to handle the treacherous road conditions of today, and she should have stayed at home to drink hot chocolate and write smug Facebook status messages. But those are some damn fine boots." And then, they too, will decide that they hate snow and avenge my death by using a lot of aerosol hairspray and driving Hummers to bring about global warming that much faster.

I bought some new make-up last night (and a $10 dress!!!!), and you can see that I am wearing the lipstain today. It is by Revlon--the Just Bitten stain with balm in the color Frenzy. I usually am not a huge fan of the bright lip, but I'm kind of loving this today. I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror and really, really liked it, which made me feel good on this icky day. The stain itself is a very nice formula--your traditional stain, which can be a bit drying as many of you know, but with a creamy balm attached. Now, I know I could just buy some lipstain (and in fact, I own some forgotten tubes somewhere....) and just layer my Yes To Carrots over the top like a sane person, but I really like that they are attached because it takes up much less room in the ole bag/puffy vest pocket.

I will blog at more length about the make-up and dress purchases of last night later--for the moment, I am going to finish up my work because it seems my employer is sending us home. Yea for short Fridays! Boo for impending death!

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