SAHM-ishness

My mother in law, who watches Alice while I am at work, and her sister and seemingly everyone in our family is sick. They have some awful fluish bug that causes high temps, throwing up, and other nasty stuff. Ick. So, since there is no one well enough to watch Alice, I have been at home with her the last couple of days. I really shouldn't admit to this, but these last two days are the only days that I have ever been at home alone with her all day since she was a newborn. Usually, the other two kids are here, or my husband is here, or she and I are going somewhere.

And I'll admit--I have absolutely loved being with her. She seems calmer with me here by herself, doing her own thing. We have played a lot and I have snuggled with her a lot. I don't think we've been more than a foot away from each other except when she is asleep. Very AP up in here right now. We took a bath together this morning, which is the first time we have done that. She loved it, but seemed very confused at the beginning. She especially loved the velcro rollers I had in my hair.

But...I am Type A, and I am running out of things to do. Yesterday I did all the laundry, proofread my mom's dissertation, washed the bedding, prepared a meal out of this month's Cooking Light and plated it so that it looked like the picture, and found my son's lost library book. When my husband got home, he asked why I hadn't called him much (he was on the road, and I think wanted some company). I told him it was because I was so busy, and he rolled his eyes. This morning I woke up, looked at the empty laundry basket, and thought...Now what? I got up and did some picking up and made my kid's lunches. Then I literally started looking for stuff to do. I decided to dress us both up today--yesterday Alice just bummed around in a BabyGap t-shirt with Babylegs during the first part of the day, and I just wore a J. Crew boyfriend tissue tee and an Old Navy running skort. Today, she has on a Gymboree romper with a crocheted neckline (so cute!) and I am wearing a white skirt and a ruffle neck t-shirt from Old Navy. I have decided that I will clean out the fridge today, but I can't do it while Alice is asleep because the kitchen is close to the bedroom, and I'm betting I'll make some noise with the dishes (I always do...). The lawn guy is supposed to be here soon, and I am tempted to go outside and clean out a flower bed before then. Hmmm. Or Alice and I could just go sit in our swing and watch him work, plantation style.

But for the time being, I am sitting here, updating a blog that no one reads, eating Triscuits with Laughing Cow cheese and online shopping. I have bought Alice three gently used Hanna Andersson rompers and a ruffled blouse from Spain. I have located a J. Crew cardigan that I missed out on last fall and am waiting for the Paypal address so I can buy it. Something tells me that my frugal husband would be in complete misery if I were a SAHM.

Some people are just not cut out to be SAHMs and I am one of them. I have thought about it a lot the last two days--Alice and I are truly having a great time together, and I wish we could do it everyday. I love her little routine, I love watching her learn and grow. But I think that I could easily drive myself crazy. I am going to be a SAHM this summer once school is out, but then I will have three kids to deal with, and I'll have the school's garden to work on (more on that later), so it will be a little different. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll be crazy then as well.

And ha! I just thought of something I can do. I am making chicken-feta tabbouleh for supper tonight, and I can go ahead and cook the chicken! This will keep me from stopping to buy a rotisserie chicken this afternoon, and just use up some stuff from the freezer. And this will offset some of the purchases I have made! Matt will be very proud of me.

So I am off to do that. And I might make some brownies. Or a loaf of bread. Or all three...

Someday, I am going to teach myself how to do nothing.