One of the many cons to living out in the middle of nowhere is that you are surrounded by trees. Now, to all of you city folk, this sounds like a good thing, and I guess it is in a way. But if you actually did it, you'd find out the many ways that it sucks. For one things, lots of trees means a shit load of leaves. You cannot imagine the number of leaves we have to rake/leaf blow around here come October. We have about four acres of land, and most of it is covered in leaves. We're talking taking entire weekends just to clean off the leaves. Ick. Plus, in summer, trees are absolute hell to deal with during thunderstorms. For one thing, limbs break off and land on power lines, thus knocking out our electricity. And trees serve as big ole lightening rods which can mean that lightening strikes your house and savagely murders just about every electrical device you own.
Which is a long of saying that I had no internet for about two weeks while things were being repaired. What did I do during that span? Well, read for one (which was a good thing). And spent many a lazy hour at the pool. And bought stuff. Whether this was a good thing, I'm not sure. At any rate, here are just a few of the things I bought and would recommend.
1. Physician's Formula Healthy Wear Powder Foundation I read about this stuff in Health magazine, and thought it would fit my lifestyle well. It is SPF 50, which is wonderful for my pale skin. Especially given that I have a rather spotty record of remembering to put sunscreen on my face during the day. I know that every magazine everywhere tells you to do it, but I'm absolutely crap at remembering. I have bought countless moisturizers and things like that to help me remember, but I either end up not liking the formula (too greasy, too smelly, etc.) or I forget about it too after a while. However, I would tend not to forget my make-up (which is pretty vain of me), so this is a good fit. I looked for it and found it at Ulta. One caveat to this is the packaging. It is encased in a little plastic cube, so you can't pull it out and look at it, and you can't see what color you are buying. Not cool. However, I always get the lightest thing I can find, so I bought it, sight unseen. And the color is...nice. It is a little pale, even for me, but I can wear it, and my husband says it matches my neck well (he has this pet peeve about people's make up not matching their neck). I would say that it is even a little paler than the same shade of Physician's Formula Organic Wear Tinted Moisturizer, which is my daily summer make-up. The coverage is good--heavier than the moisturizer, but it is not too much, even for summer. It does leave the skin feeling silky, which is good. Overall, it looks really good under some Nars bronzer--it smoothes out the skin and gives me a good pallette for my other make-up.
So I tested this at my town's all-day 4th of July festival. I put it over some primer (Philosophy The Present--a really old tube, if I remember correctly) because I knew I would be out all day. I took my kids to the pool and then to the park for the festival. Then I came home to fix supper and change out of my wet bathing suit before going back for music and fireworks. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I noticed that I didn't really need any touch-ups. It was still on, and looked pretty good. That is saying something, given that I had spent the better part of my day trying to teach a six year old how to do various water tricks. Granted, I did not immerse my face in water ever (we stayed in the 3-4 foot), but I did sweat and exert myself. Plus, I was burn free. Not even the least bit of ruddiness or burn on my cheeks. You gotta love that.
If you know what color you would normally buy, this is a good bet, and perfect for shepherding kids around. I definitely recommend.
2. Ecotools Bamboo Brushes. On that same trip to Ulta, I picked up some of these brushes. I got the eye set and a big fluffy blusher brush. Now, I needed brushes like WOAH. I bought these because of the eco-ness (I had just read a fantastic article about bamboo and how fast it grows and all of that) and because they were cheap. My other brushes are Sonia Kashuk from Target, and yes I know that you are supposed to spend money on brushes, but I'm sorry. I just can't. I would rather spend it on the actual make-up. Oh well--we'll call it a character flaw. Anyway, I like these. A lot. I especially like these little eye tools. There are six brushes in the case, and they are each labeled on the handle with what you should do with them. That I liked a lot, because I end up just using them for whatever I want and then get mad when I don't get the results I like. This is a gentle reminder to do things the right way. Plus the case is cute and packs up nicely--awesome since I am going on two week long trips this summer. So if you are in the market for new brushes, I would recommend these. They might not compete with something fancy, but they get the job done, and the price is right.
3. Boon Snack Ball Container. This definitely goes in the file of "Where was this thing when I had my other two kids?" This thing is great, and I almost feel stupid about saying that because it is so simple. It is just a hard plastic ball that you put snacks in. Yup. I had been packing snacks for Alice in plastic baggies to take to the pool, and that is a habit I would like to get out of because a) it is bad for the environment and b) her snacks would always get broken/smashed when they got sent to the bottom of the pool bag. No such problem with this thing. Plus, it is easy to find in a crowded bag. Also, it can double as a toy in a pinch--Alice loved gnawing on it and passing it from hand to hand for a while during a trip to the zoo. One caveat--she dropped it while we were sitting at a picnic table on the same trip, and because we were sitting on a gentle incline, it rolled for a good ways before I caught up with it, something my husband found rather funny. But, it definitely is nice. I have bought a couple now, and yes, they are also awesome.
4. Gap Long and Lean Jeans. I have owned these jeans before, way back when I was a size 14, and well, they weren't my favorites. There were some gapping issues, and for some reason, the crotch just seemed long. Like disturbingly long. I remember wearing them in the Las Vegas airport and feeling like something was rubbing my upper thigh in a very uncomfortable way, and well, it was the crotch. I really should have returned them, but I got them for Christmas, and just didn't feel like going through the hassle. I had kind of marked them off the denim hemisphere, and then I saw them on a blog, and decided to try them again. This time, I went to the store, and tried on. The 6's (my normal size in jeans) were too big, so I ended up getting the 4's. This, my friends, is vanity sizing at its finest/most annoying. On no planet should I be a size 4. However, they look AWESOME. Like I actually look long and lean and well, I'm neither. Despite my weight loss, I'm still curvy as all get out--big boobs (partly from nursing), smaller waist, and larger hips. These fit and flatter that.
And the next best thing is that they come in white. Now, I don't know about you ladies, but to me summer is all about the white clothing. I love white pants, white jeans, white shorts, white skirts, you name it. And these are some perfect white pants. They are very flattering. And you can really wear them with a variety of tops. I've done a shorter tunic (kind of knockoff Tory Burch from Target), t-shirts, even colorful ribbed tanks, and they look good and not in a I'M WEARING WHITE PANTS kind of way. So if you are looking for white pants, check them out.
One caveat though--I'm short and wear the ankle lengths in the blue jeans. However, there are no ankle lengths in the white ones, and they are long. I ordered a petite from the website.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Anniversary Trip!
Alright. Anyone out there who thinks that she has the best husband in the world is completely and totally wrong. This is not up for debate. Because that honor totally belongs to my comic-book-reading, Russian-literature-studying, bookcase-building Matt.Our anniversary is June 4, and five years was coming up this year. Last year, we took a trip to Gatlinburg, TN and played putt-putt and went to Dollywood and shopped at the J. Crew outlet and did all the normal touristy things. It was fun, but not exactly relaxing. This year, we have both been really tired--me because I just finished a year of school and have the three kids (one of whom is 9 months old), and him because he has a pretty demanding job, and well, the three kids. To be honest, I didn't even feel like planning a trip. I figured we might send the kids up to his mother's house for an evening and maybe go out to dinner, but that that would be it. I thought if we were feeling particularly spry, we might go to a play at our local theater.
Then Matt told me that he was planning a trip, and that it would be a surprise. I was not to do anything, just be ready to leave on the 4th and have a bathing suit packed. I went out and bought a bathing suit. I asked all kinds of questions, but he wouldn't tell me anything. A few days ahead of time, I found a flyer laying in the bedroom about a comic book convention in Charlotte, NC for that weekend. I figured that is what we were doing--we would go down there, and he would go to the convention, and I would veg out. I wasn't exactly over the moon about it, but I was still pretty excited.
On the morning of the 4th, I got up and got packed. My mother in law came over and packed up the kids. I was nervous about leaving Alice, since it would be our first night away from each other, but my husband assured me that we would be within a 3-4 hour drive, so it would be ok--we could get there quickly if needed. Matt and I got in the car and made our way out. We stopped to get some gas, and while he was paying and getting us some drinks, I saw the Mapquest directions sticking up. Of course, since I am the kind of kid who always peeked in the closet looking for Christmas presents, I looked. Sure enough, it was directions to the official hotel of the comic book convention. Ha ha, I thought, proud of my sleuthing.
So we started driving, and we stopped at Cracker Barrel. This is a bit of a tradition with our family--any time we go on any type of trip, we stop at Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Matt told me that he would tell me where we were going if I wanted to know. I said ok, feeling that it would be a moot point. He told me that we were going to Asheville, NC. I was definitely surprised!
So we make the drive. We stopped at the mall to grab a couple of things at Victoria's Secret and at a great lingerie boutique downtown called Va Va Voom. We went to a chocolate store and ate sea salt caramels. We bought Alice a fitted diaper that was produced in Asheville from North Carolina grown cotton. Then Matt told me that he would take me to where we were staying. I was thinking that maybe we would be going to the Grove Park Inn, or something similar. Instead, I found myself going down a deserted dirt road. I was pretty sure that Matt was lost. He wasn't saying much, but seemed to be smiling. Why would he be smiling if he was lost? We passed by a farmhouse with a huge tractor. I started thinking he was taking me out someplace to kill me. Had I married an ax murderer?
Then we turned the corner, and I was looking at a beautiful cottage. It was truly out in the middle of nowhere--the only access was a dirt road, and there was no sound of any traffic. No sound of anything really.
*This picture is a horrible of one me, but it is the only one I have that shows the outside of the cabin, however small.So we spent the next three days doing a whole lot of nothing. We prepared all our own meals on the cottage's grill, aside from going out for gyros our first night there. I spent the bulk of the time wearing my bikini (!!!) and a spa robe. We shared bottles of wine in the hot tub, and toasted our good fortune. I ate goat cheese and crackers while watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians while my husband read. We slept late. I ate gelato in bed. We enjoyed the heated bathroom floors. We plugged our Ipods in to the bed and listened to music and laughed (Matt got a kick out of playing Hot For Teacher for me). We cooked together and bought superflous groceries that we would never buy in our life with three kids. Our only outing was to see an Asheville Tourists game, because as I've said before, watching minor league baseball is about the most fun you can have standing up.
But mostly, we reconnected with each other and relaxed. It was wonderful just to have some time to have a conversation. We actually spent time doing absolutely nothing other than sipping wine and smiling at one another. It was truly, truly amazing.
And the cabin was very luxurious and awesome. Here are some pictures:
*I loved this faucet.
*I am trying to add more, but the picture editor is being grouchy. I'll try to add more later.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Nine Months In, Nine Months Out
Today my baby was supposed to have her nine month appointment. I say "supposed to" because my son got hit in the mouth with a swing at school, which nearly knocked his front tooth out. This called for an emergency dental appointment, which called for me changing Alice's appointment until next week. Oh well. No sweat on that. When you have three kids, you get used to the rescheduling.
At any rate, though, Alice and I are both at our nine month mark. I had a lot I wanted to accomplish by this point, and I think I've done pretty well. For one thing, I'm still breastfeeding. I didn't really give myself a choice on that one--I was going to do it come hell or high water--but it still amazes me that I've been able to keep at it. Let me tell you, breastfeeding + working at a high school does not equal anything good. Kids are unpredictable, and so are their schedules. And thus so is my job. Finding time to pump and a place to pump and all of that is frustrating, and sometimes impossible. But I'm still at it. Alice is eating solids now (we are doing Baby Led Weaning to some degree--I have given her a bit of spoon fed foods like yogurt so she could get different textures and I think she likes that), so her milk consumption while I am at work has dropped quite a bit. However, she still consumes her normal feedings in the evenings and at night. Thus, we still have our time together. It is so nice to come home and take her in the bedroom after a long day at work and both of us to get comfy under a blanket and just have that time. I love it and wouldn't trade it for the world. And at six weeks, I never thought I would be typing those words.
I have also done AP to some degree, and have been happy with the results. Alice is calm, sleeps well and seems to be developing quickly (if not a bit quicker than my other two). My grandmother and mom do make comments about how much she is held or carried, but to me, the proof is in the pudding. Everyone says that she is the best baby they have ever seen, and yes, I know people just say that, but she really is pretty awesome. She is the perfect baby for our family because as long as I am paying attention to her needs and giving her myself as best I can, she can go and do whatever. For instance, she has attended every softball and t-ball game with me this season (we even have matching shirts--my shirts say "Sam's Mom" and "Gabby's Mom" and hers say "Sam's Sis" and "Gabby's Sis"), and has been perfectly pleased to sit on my lap and cheer. Developmentally, (and this may not be related at all to the AP) she has learned to crawl faster than my other two, and just has an awareness that is, I think, different from what I have observed previously. In short, she is swell.
As for myself, I have met my original weight goal that I made for myself way back when Alice was just a twinkle in my eye. I started as a size 14, and got down to a 12 before I got pregnant (although that first 30 pounds was definitely the hardest!). Then, post pregnancy, I have gone from a 12 to a 4/6. I am pleased with this--I wanted to be a size 6. The only thing that is odd is how I see myself. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window or something and I think, "Where is the rest of me? Is that really me?" and I am pleased. Other times, I think, "This is what I thought I looked like when I was a 12. Am I still a 12? Is it all just vanity sizing?" It is strange. I would really like to lose about 5-10 more pounds and tone up a bit. I have started running, and I really love it. Mostly because I go either with a group of girls in my town or with my Ipod. I need to restart on my abs and upper arms because I have exercises that I like for both, but I keep putting it off. There are not enough hours in the day.
As far as life issues go, things are going well there as well. I am considering going back to law school next semester. However, there are a few things that concern me about the school system where we live, so I am worried about getting myself further into the program before we decide what we do. I've got a couple of months to mull it over, so I will take advantage. If I take another year before going back, I want to get a different job. Nothing against this one--I would just like a change in pace. My position right now is paid for by a grant, so technically it is up next year anyway, although they would like to keep me around and have promised me another position if I am interested. I am currently deciding if I am or not.
And our family is complete. That is a nice feeling, ladies and gentlemen. There is just something about it. I don't know how to describe it. I feel like we have the perfect little team--a Party of Five if you will. Only without Neve Campbell. I never liked her anyway.
At any rate, though, Alice and I are both at our nine month mark. I had a lot I wanted to accomplish by this point, and I think I've done pretty well. For one thing, I'm still breastfeeding. I didn't really give myself a choice on that one--I was going to do it come hell or high water--but it still amazes me that I've been able to keep at it. Let me tell you, breastfeeding + working at a high school does not equal anything good. Kids are unpredictable, and so are their schedules. And thus so is my job. Finding time to pump and a place to pump and all of that is frustrating, and sometimes impossible. But I'm still at it. Alice is eating solids now (we are doing Baby Led Weaning to some degree--I have given her a bit of spoon fed foods like yogurt so she could get different textures and I think she likes that), so her milk consumption while I am at work has dropped quite a bit. However, she still consumes her normal feedings in the evenings and at night. Thus, we still have our time together. It is so nice to come home and take her in the bedroom after a long day at work and both of us to get comfy under a blanket and just have that time. I love it and wouldn't trade it for the world. And at six weeks, I never thought I would be typing those words.
I have also done AP to some degree, and have been happy with the results. Alice is calm, sleeps well and seems to be developing quickly (if not a bit quicker than my other two). My grandmother and mom do make comments about how much she is held or carried, but to me, the proof is in the pudding. Everyone says that she is the best baby they have ever seen, and yes, I know people just say that, but she really is pretty awesome. She is the perfect baby for our family because as long as I am paying attention to her needs and giving her myself as best I can, she can go and do whatever. For instance, she has attended every softball and t-ball game with me this season (we even have matching shirts--my shirts say "Sam's Mom" and "Gabby's Mom" and hers say "Sam's Sis" and "Gabby's Sis"), and has been perfectly pleased to sit on my lap and cheer. Developmentally, (and this may not be related at all to the AP) she has learned to crawl faster than my other two, and just has an awareness that is, I think, different from what I have observed previously. In short, she is swell.
As for myself, I have met my original weight goal that I made for myself way back when Alice was just a twinkle in my eye. I started as a size 14, and got down to a 12 before I got pregnant (although that first 30 pounds was definitely the hardest!). Then, post pregnancy, I have gone from a 12 to a 4/6. I am pleased with this--I wanted to be a size 6. The only thing that is odd is how I see myself. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window or something and I think, "Where is the rest of me? Is that really me?" and I am pleased. Other times, I think, "This is what I thought I looked like when I was a 12. Am I still a 12? Is it all just vanity sizing?" It is strange. I would really like to lose about 5-10 more pounds and tone up a bit. I have started running, and I really love it. Mostly because I go either with a group of girls in my town or with my Ipod. I need to restart on my abs and upper arms because I have exercises that I like for both, but I keep putting it off. There are not enough hours in the day.
As far as life issues go, things are going well there as well. I am considering going back to law school next semester. However, there are a few things that concern me about the school system where we live, so I am worried about getting myself further into the program before we decide what we do. I've got a couple of months to mull it over, so I will take advantage. If I take another year before going back, I want to get a different job. Nothing against this one--I would just like a change in pace. My position right now is paid for by a grant, so technically it is up next year anyway, although they would like to keep me around and have promised me another position if I am interested. I am currently deciding if I am or not.
And our family is complete. That is a nice feeling, ladies and gentlemen. There is just something about it. I don't know how to describe it. I feel like we have the perfect little team--a Party of Five if you will. Only without Neve Campbell. I never liked her anyway.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Random Things to Type While Everyone is Still Asleep
Yesterday, my husband and my two older children went to my brother in law's college graduation. It was about 4 hours away. This means that Matt drove 8 hours yesterday (the kids stayed up there with my mother and father in law and are returning today--they were too tired to make the trip last night). For some reason, Matt and I were both keyed up last night, and managed to stay awake until 2:00 am, just talking and laughing on the couch. Despite this, I woke up early. Matt and Alice (who hung out with me yesterday and went shopping and out to eat with my mom last night) are still asleep. I am typing this in order to keep myself from ordering stuff from the J Crew website.
Last night, my mom and I went shopping. My mom lives in Memphis, which a good 8-9 hour drive from where I live, so we don't see each other super often. The scary thing about my mom and I is that we are both incredibly Type A personalities, and we both like to be moving at all times. We bring this out in each other to an even higher degree. Put us together, and we are probably the most annoying people on the planet. We decided last night to drive the hour to the mall just to go to American Eagle. Why? Well, because our malls around here a c-r-a-p-p-y, and AE is about the best you can do. Also because that is one of three places that my mom can find clothes, which is pretty hilarious. My mom is a 55 year old woman. However, she is also a half marathoner and she wears a size 0, sometimes a 00. This, I have discovered, is a curse. For some reason, American Eagle stuff just fits her better than most, and luckily, she is a college professor who teaches a bunch of her classes online, and can get away with having little to no professional clothing. At any rate, we put Alice in the Maclaren and went to it.
The fun thing about shopping at American Eagle is the hilarious people you see in there. I saw a couple who were probably in their early to mid 30's. They were shopping with two daughters, probably 6-8 in age. The daughters were wearing matching halter dresses. The mom had bleached blonde hair, a ring of lipliner around her mouth and booty shorts. Very Warrant video girl (SWEET CHERRY PIE!). The dad was a bit pudgy and wearing a huge pair of madras print shorts with a bright yellow t-shirt and Timberland boots. With thick white socks. Hawt. They had a display of American Eagle brand cologne and he was spraying a bit from seemingly every bottle and then sniffing the air. And by "sniffing," I mean "snorting." Like a pig. It was entertaining to watch--in fact, I spent a great deal of time looking through the graphic tees (I haven't worn a graphic tee since I was in college) just to watch him.
Anyway, mom and I were gathering up some stuff to try on, and voila, I see a kid that attends the school where I teach. She is a sweet girl with nice parents and is just absolutley terrible at algebra. She sees me too, and kind of smiles. It is at this point that I feel incredibly old. Like picture Granny on The Beverly Hillbillies. That's what I felt like. I was holding Alice (who had picked that moment to gnaw on the bottom of her Hanna Andersson dress) and also a pair of cropped destroyed jeans. Classy. The kid comes over and talks to me and we have this sort of awkward conversation. I look down and she is holding the same pants. Nice. I decide to disappear into the dressing room with my 55 year old mother.
And here's the kicker--those pants fit me like a dream. I kinda love them. In fact, I bought them. They are sitting in a bag over here with a camisole and a v-neck t-shirt that I got for $10. So here's the conundrum...do I wear them to school? What if that kid bought the same ones? Things are pretty casual at the high school now as we near the end of the year, and all teachers have been wearing jeans all the time--not just on Friday. I would love to wear my new pants, and actually, it is kind of a have to thing since I currently own very few pants that fit correctly and I got ice cream on my white Old Navy Weekend jeans so they are at my grandmom's house where she is trying to get the stain out for me. Hmmm. This is a toughie. I have a feeling that I will probably wear them anyway, but if she has them on on the same day, I will quit my job and move to New Zealand to become a sheep farmer. I am just barely exaggerating.
I also bought a black dress at Target that is way cute, and a pair of khaki shorts, a tank top and a new cardigan. Can I just say that Target's Merona Collection has gotten exceedingly better over the last year? I think they are trying to copy J. Crew and it is awesome. Yes, there are definitely a few fails over there, but for cheap stuff, you really can't go wrong if you look and try on. Their t-shirts actually fit my mom and me, which is a minor miracle since I have huge boobs and she has no boobs. We are still trying to figure out how. And those suckers are $6! $6! That is the price of a Real Simple magazine and a coffee! Throw a cardigan over one of them and put it with jeans and you can look put together in little to no time and with little to no effort!
Which brings me to my next topic...I have developed a uniform. I seem to wear jeans (sometimes rolled to mid calf), a detailed cami/tank, and a cardigan everyday. I have a navy blue Jackie that gets the most play, but I also have a green Gap open front cardigan and a teal cardigan from the Crewlet that I also wear a good deal of the time. I am totally comfortable in this ensemble, and I think it always looks pretty good. I think I am making up for the fact that I have always loved cardigans, but they have not always loved me. Before I lost weight, I swear to God, I looked like my father every time I wore one. And that is not an insult to my dad. But let's just say that is not something I aspire to. My husband thinks I am insane with them because he points out that it is hot and we live in VA. Yeah, well, that means every building you go into is air conditioned to within an inch of its life. Yes, when I anticipate being outside I will wear shorts and a t-shirt. Hell, I have worked so much to lose weight that I am considering only wearing a bathing suit all summer, and probably will if I can lose about 5 more pounds. But the cardigan thing--you seriously can't beat it. I certainly hopes it looks as good as I think it does.
Well, I just heard the siren call of a freshly awake baby. Happy summer!
Last night, my mom and I went shopping. My mom lives in Memphis, which a good 8-9 hour drive from where I live, so we don't see each other super often. The scary thing about my mom and I is that we are both incredibly Type A personalities, and we both like to be moving at all times. We bring this out in each other to an even higher degree. Put us together, and we are probably the most annoying people on the planet. We decided last night to drive the hour to the mall just to go to American Eagle. Why? Well, because our malls around here a c-r-a-p-p-y, and AE is about the best you can do. Also because that is one of three places that my mom can find clothes, which is pretty hilarious. My mom is a 55 year old woman. However, she is also a half marathoner and she wears a size 0, sometimes a 00. This, I have discovered, is a curse. For some reason, American Eagle stuff just fits her better than most, and luckily, she is a college professor who teaches a bunch of her classes online, and can get away with having little to no professional clothing. At any rate, we put Alice in the Maclaren and went to it.
The fun thing about shopping at American Eagle is the hilarious people you see in there. I saw a couple who were probably in their early to mid 30's. They were shopping with two daughters, probably 6-8 in age. The daughters were wearing matching halter dresses. The mom had bleached blonde hair, a ring of lipliner around her mouth and booty shorts. Very Warrant video girl (SWEET CHERRY PIE!). The dad was a bit pudgy and wearing a huge pair of madras print shorts with a bright yellow t-shirt and Timberland boots. With thick white socks. Hawt. They had a display of American Eagle brand cologne and he was spraying a bit from seemingly every bottle and then sniffing the air. And by "sniffing," I mean "snorting." Like a pig. It was entertaining to watch--in fact, I spent a great deal of time looking through the graphic tees (I haven't worn a graphic tee since I was in college) just to watch him.
Anyway, mom and I were gathering up some stuff to try on, and voila, I see a kid that attends the school where I teach. She is a sweet girl with nice parents and is just absolutley terrible at algebra. She sees me too, and kind of smiles. It is at this point that I feel incredibly old. Like picture Granny on The Beverly Hillbillies. That's what I felt like. I was holding Alice (who had picked that moment to gnaw on the bottom of her Hanna Andersson dress) and also a pair of cropped destroyed jeans. Classy. The kid comes over and talks to me and we have this sort of awkward conversation. I look down and she is holding the same pants. Nice. I decide to disappear into the dressing room with my 55 year old mother.
And here's the kicker--those pants fit me like a dream. I kinda love them. In fact, I bought them. They are sitting in a bag over here with a camisole and a v-neck t-shirt that I got for $10. So here's the conundrum...do I wear them to school? What if that kid bought the same ones? Things are pretty casual at the high school now as we near the end of the year, and all teachers have been wearing jeans all the time--not just on Friday. I would love to wear my new pants, and actually, it is kind of a have to thing since I currently own very few pants that fit correctly and I got ice cream on my white Old Navy Weekend jeans so they are at my grandmom's house where she is trying to get the stain out for me. Hmmm. This is a toughie. I have a feeling that I will probably wear them anyway, but if she has them on on the same day, I will quit my job and move to New Zealand to become a sheep farmer. I am just barely exaggerating.
I also bought a black dress at Target that is way cute, and a pair of khaki shorts, a tank top and a new cardigan. Can I just say that Target's Merona Collection has gotten exceedingly better over the last year? I think they are trying to copy J. Crew and it is awesome. Yes, there are definitely a few fails over there, but for cheap stuff, you really can't go wrong if you look and try on. Their t-shirts actually fit my mom and me, which is a minor miracle since I have huge boobs and she has no boobs. We are still trying to figure out how. And those suckers are $6! $6! That is the price of a Real Simple magazine and a coffee! Throw a cardigan over one of them and put it with jeans and you can look put together in little to no time and with little to no effort!
Which brings me to my next topic...I have developed a uniform. I seem to wear jeans (sometimes rolled to mid calf), a detailed cami/tank, and a cardigan everyday. I have a navy blue Jackie that gets the most play, but I also have a green Gap open front cardigan and a teal cardigan from the Crewlet that I also wear a good deal of the time. I am totally comfortable in this ensemble, and I think it always looks pretty good. I think I am making up for the fact that I have always loved cardigans, but they have not always loved me. Before I lost weight, I swear to God, I looked like my father every time I wore one. And that is not an insult to my dad. But let's just say that is not something I aspire to. My husband thinks I am insane with them because he points out that it is hot and we live in VA. Yeah, well, that means every building you go into is air conditioned to within an inch of its life. Yes, when I anticipate being outside I will wear shorts and a t-shirt. Hell, I have worked so much to lose weight that I am considering only wearing a bathing suit all summer, and probably will if I can lose about 5 more pounds. But the cardigan thing--you seriously can't beat it. I certainly hopes it looks as good as I think it does.
Well, I just heard the siren call of a freshly awake baby. Happy summer!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
SAHM-ishness
My mother in law, who watches Alice while I am at work, and her sister and seemingly everyone in our family is sick. They have some awful fluish bug that causes high temps, throwing up, and other nasty stuff. Ick. So, since there is no one well enough to watch Alice, I have been at home with her the last couple of days. I really shouldn't admit to this, but these last two days are the only days that I have ever been at home alone with her all day since she was a newborn. Usually, the other two kids are here, or my husband is here, or she and I are going somewhere.
And I'll admit--I have absolutely loved being with her. She seems calmer with me here by herself, doing her own thing. We have played a lot and I have snuggled with her a lot. I don't think we've been more than a foot away from each other except when she is asleep. Very AP up in here right now. We took a bath together this morning, which is the first time we have done that. She loved it, but seemed very confused at the beginning. She especially loved the velcro rollers I had in my hair.
But...I am Type A, and I am running out of things to do. Yesterday I did all the laundry, proofread my mom's dissertation, washed the bedding, prepared a meal out of this month's Cooking Light and plated it so that it looked like the picture, and found my son's lost library book. When my husband got home, he asked why I hadn't called him much (he was on the road, and I think wanted some company). I told him it was because I was so busy, and he rolled his eyes. This morning I woke up, looked at the empty laundry basket, and thought...Now what? I got up and did some picking up and made my kid's lunches. Then I literally started looking for stuff to do. I decided to dress us both up today--yesterday Alice just bummed around in a BabyGap t-shirt with Babylegs during the first part of the day, and I just wore a J. Crew boyfriend tissue tee and an Old Navy running skort. Today, she has on a Gymboree romper with a crocheted neckline (so cute!) and I am wearing a white skirt and a ruffle neck t-shirt from Old Navy. I have decided that I will clean out the fridge today, but I can't do it while Alice is asleep because the kitchen is close to the bedroom, and I'm betting I'll make some noise with the dishes (I always do...). The lawn guy is supposed to be here soon, and I am tempted to go outside and clean out a flower bed before then. Hmmm. Or Alice and I could just go sit in our swing and watch him work, plantation style.
But for the time being, I am sitting here, updating a blog that no one reads, eating Triscuits with Laughing Cow cheese and online shopping. I have bought Alice three gently used Hanna Andersson rompers and a ruffled blouse from Spain. I have located a J. Crew cardigan that I missed out on last fall and am waiting for the Paypal address so I can buy it. Something tells me that my frugal husband would be in complete misery if I were a SAHM.
Some people are just not cut out to be SAHMs and I am one of them. I have thought about it a lot the last two days--Alice and I are truly having a great time together, and I wish we could do it everyday. I love her little routine, I love watching her learn and grow. But I think that I could easily drive myself crazy. I am going to be a SAHM this summer once school is out, but then I will have three kids to deal with, and I'll have the school's garden to work on (more on that later), so it will be a little different. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll be crazy then as well.
And ha! I just thought of something I can do. I am making chicken-feta tabbouleh for supper tonight, and I can go ahead and cook the chicken! This will keep me from stopping to buy a rotisserie chicken this afternoon, and just use up some stuff from the freezer. And this will offset some of the purchases I have made! Matt will be very proud of me.
So I am off to do that. And I might make some brownies. Or a loaf of bread. Or all three...
Someday, I am going to teach myself how to do nothing.
And I'll admit--I have absolutely loved being with her. She seems calmer with me here by herself, doing her own thing. We have played a lot and I have snuggled with her a lot. I don't think we've been more than a foot away from each other except when she is asleep. Very AP up in here right now. We took a bath together this morning, which is the first time we have done that. She loved it, but seemed very confused at the beginning. She especially loved the velcro rollers I had in my hair.
But...I am Type A, and I am running out of things to do. Yesterday I did all the laundry, proofread my mom's dissertation, washed the bedding, prepared a meal out of this month's Cooking Light and plated it so that it looked like the picture, and found my son's lost library book. When my husband got home, he asked why I hadn't called him much (he was on the road, and I think wanted some company). I told him it was because I was so busy, and he rolled his eyes. This morning I woke up, looked at the empty laundry basket, and thought...Now what? I got up and did some picking up and made my kid's lunches. Then I literally started looking for stuff to do. I decided to dress us both up today--yesterday Alice just bummed around in a BabyGap t-shirt with Babylegs during the first part of the day, and I just wore a J. Crew boyfriend tissue tee and an Old Navy running skort. Today, she has on a Gymboree romper with a crocheted neckline (so cute!) and I am wearing a white skirt and a ruffle neck t-shirt from Old Navy. I have decided that I will clean out the fridge today, but I can't do it while Alice is asleep because the kitchen is close to the bedroom, and I'm betting I'll make some noise with the dishes (I always do...). The lawn guy is supposed to be here soon, and I am tempted to go outside and clean out a flower bed before then. Hmmm. Or Alice and I could just go sit in our swing and watch him work, plantation style.
But for the time being, I am sitting here, updating a blog that no one reads, eating Triscuits with Laughing Cow cheese and online shopping. I have bought Alice three gently used Hanna Andersson rompers and a ruffled blouse from Spain. I have located a J. Crew cardigan that I missed out on last fall and am waiting for the Paypal address so I can buy it. Something tells me that my frugal husband would be in complete misery if I were a SAHM.
Some people are just not cut out to be SAHMs and I am one of them. I have thought about it a lot the last two days--Alice and I are truly having a great time together, and I wish we could do it everyday. I love her little routine, I love watching her learn and grow. But I think that I could easily drive myself crazy. I am going to be a SAHM this summer once school is out, but then I will have three kids to deal with, and I'll have the school's garden to work on (more on that later), so it will be a little different. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll be crazy then as well.
And ha! I just thought of something I can do. I am making chicken-feta tabbouleh for supper tonight, and I can go ahead and cook the chicken! This will keep me from stopping to buy a rotisserie chicken this afternoon, and just use up some stuff from the freezer. And this will offset some of the purchases I have made! Matt will be very proud of me.
So I am off to do that. And I might make some brownies. Or a loaf of bread. Or all three...
Someday, I am going to teach myself how to do nothing.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Kids Say the Damnedest Things
On Sunday, we decided to go out for tacos and a bit of shopping. I wore this dress:
I got it at Old Navy for like $15 a while ago. It is cute and simple and easy to wear with sandals and simple jewelry. Plus, right now, I am really hurting for clothes. Last summer I was pregnant with Alice and the summer before that I was a good 3-4 sizes larger than I am now. So I literally have nothing in my summer wardrobe--even basics like tanks and t-shirts are miles too big. And the even worse thing is that I am still struggling to dress this new body. Styles that I used to rely on no longer flatter me and I am still a little unsure about the fit on other things. This makes ordering online a bit of a challenge. Plus, with having to buy everything from basics on up, I have to supplement with a lot of affordable, cheap things. This was a big reason why we were going out--my husband was tired of hearing me complain and was hauling me off to Target and Old Navy to shut me up.
Anyway, I was wearing the dress and thought I looked super cute. While we were getting our tacos, though, I started thinking that maybe the dress was a bit too short. I had worn it a couple of times and washed it, and I noticed that it was hard to bend without showing the goodies. So I was doing my best to crouch and move gracefully. However, as we were leaving and I was gathering the free taco coupons we had gotten for coming out on a Sunday, my son grabbed my butt. It was through my dress, but it scared me a bit. I yelped and took him outside and told him not to do that. We had quite a detailed conversation about it, but I didn't think a lot about it because, well, he is a 6 year old boy and they do weird things. Plus, Sam is going through a potty humor phase right now (which will probably last until he is 30), so anything about butts or anything like that is hi-freakin'-larious to him. So he got a lecture, but a bit of understanding on our part.
So we drove to Target and were getting out of the car, I was popping up Alice's stroller so that I could go into Old Navy and try stuff on (we usually use the Maya or the Oh Snap! in these circumstances, but with trying stuff on, I opted for the stroller) and Sam ran behind me and this time pulled up my dress! I yelped (louder this time) and told my husband what he had done. This time we talked to him a lot sterner. It was a bit hard because by this point, both he and Gabby were cracking up. They had been a bit wild all day, so, again, we were understanding, but told him he wouldn't be able to play his DS on the way home as a punishment. We walked on in to Target.
Sam waited until we got in the door and was standing in the middle of the store and then proceeded to grace the shoppers of Target with this gem:
"Mommy, you should really get some underwear that covers your butt cheeks. I have some, Gabby has some, Daddy has some, and Alice has some. You should get some too. Go to the mommy's underwear section and get some."
And it was at that moment that I realized that indeed, I was wearing a thong. If Sam had seen the matching bra that I was wearing with hopes that the kids would go to bed early that night, he would have had much more to say, I'm sure.
So yes, my son saw my thong underwear. I am starting to see why a lot of moms wear nothing but high waisted jeans, granny panties and their husband's t-shirts.
And yes, my spring/summer wardrobe budget has been further slashed because now I need to be saving up for his therapy bills. Awesome.
In addition, if you are interested, Old Navy has their Weekend Jeans on sale for $17 this week, which is like half price. I pink puffy heart these jeans--they are a boyfriend style, but actually fit. I tried Loft's boyfriend jeans, but a) they are $80 and b) they are freakin' huge. As in, I was wearing jeans that were two sizes smaller than my normal size, and they were still a bit loose and slouchy in a bad way. The 00's were even too big for my mom. So for $17 (reg price is $34), you can get the same look and it fits relatively TTS. Also, the ruffled jacket from Old Navy featured in this month's Real Simple is pretty cute on. I wore it yesterday and got a lot of comments. Just a thought if you are a thong-wearing-non-Mom-jeans-wearing-therapy-inducing Mama such as myself.
I got it at Old Navy for like $15 a while ago. It is cute and simple and easy to wear with sandals and simple jewelry. Plus, right now, I am really hurting for clothes. Last summer I was pregnant with Alice and the summer before that I was a good 3-4 sizes larger than I am now. So I literally have nothing in my summer wardrobe--even basics like tanks and t-shirts are miles too big. And the even worse thing is that I am still struggling to dress this new body. Styles that I used to rely on no longer flatter me and I am still a little unsure about the fit on other things. This makes ordering online a bit of a challenge. Plus, with having to buy everything from basics on up, I have to supplement with a lot of affordable, cheap things. This was a big reason why we were going out--my husband was tired of hearing me complain and was hauling me off to Target and Old Navy to shut me up.
Anyway, I was wearing the dress and thought I looked super cute. While we were getting our tacos, though, I started thinking that maybe the dress was a bit too short. I had worn it a couple of times and washed it, and I noticed that it was hard to bend without showing the goodies. So I was doing my best to crouch and move gracefully. However, as we were leaving and I was gathering the free taco coupons we had gotten for coming out on a Sunday, my son grabbed my butt. It was through my dress, but it scared me a bit. I yelped and took him outside and told him not to do that. We had quite a detailed conversation about it, but I didn't think a lot about it because, well, he is a 6 year old boy and they do weird things. Plus, Sam is going through a potty humor phase right now (which will probably last until he is 30), so anything about butts or anything like that is hi-freakin'-larious to him. So he got a lecture, but a bit of understanding on our part.
So we drove to Target and were getting out of the car, I was popping up Alice's stroller so that I could go into Old Navy and try stuff on (we usually use the Maya or the Oh Snap! in these circumstances, but with trying stuff on, I opted for the stroller) and Sam ran behind me and this time pulled up my dress! I yelped (louder this time) and told my husband what he had done. This time we talked to him a lot sterner. It was a bit hard because by this point, both he and Gabby were cracking up. They had been a bit wild all day, so, again, we were understanding, but told him he wouldn't be able to play his DS on the way home as a punishment. We walked on in to Target.
Sam waited until we got in the door and was standing in the middle of the store and then proceeded to grace the shoppers of Target with this gem:
"Mommy, you should really get some underwear that covers your butt cheeks. I have some, Gabby has some, Daddy has some, and Alice has some. You should get some too. Go to the mommy's underwear section and get some."
And it was at that moment that I realized that indeed, I was wearing a thong. If Sam had seen the matching bra that I was wearing with hopes that the kids would go to bed early that night, he would have had much more to say, I'm sure.
So yes, my son saw my thong underwear. I am starting to see why a lot of moms wear nothing but high waisted jeans, granny panties and their husband's t-shirts.
And yes, my spring/summer wardrobe budget has been further slashed because now I need to be saving up for his therapy bills. Awesome.
In addition, if you are interested, Old Navy has their Weekend Jeans on sale for $17 this week, which is like half price. I pink puffy heart these jeans--they are a boyfriend style, but actually fit. I tried Loft's boyfriend jeans, but a) they are $80 and b) they are freakin' huge. As in, I was wearing jeans that were two sizes smaller than my normal size, and they were still a bit loose and slouchy in a bad way. The 00's were even too big for my mom. So for $17 (reg price is $34), you can get the same look and it fits relatively TTS. Also, the ruffled jacket from Old Navy featured in this month's Real Simple is pretty cute on. I wore it yesterday and got a lot of comments. Just a thought if you are a thong-wearing-non-Mom-jeans-wearing-therapy-inducing Mama such as myself.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Can You Be Both Fat and Happy?
Last weekend, my husband and I were lucky enough to get to spend a couple of uninhibited hours at the book store while my father took my two oldest children to a play. Alice decided be the best baby EVAH and sleep in the Maclaren, so we both went to the magazine section, got ourselves a huge stack, purchased a steaming cup of coffee and a muffin and went to it. I was intrigued by an article I read in Self magazine--an article where a woman talked about her struggle with weight gain while taking anti-depressants and whether the weight gain outweighed the benefits from actually taking the pills. In the end, she decides that yes, the 80 pounds she has gained makes her more unhappy than ever and decides to stop taking the pills (that she knows work, aside from the side effects) and go in search of another chemical combination to combat her depression.
I have thought about the article a lot over the past week, and even more when last night, I was enjoying myself on the computer and catching up on blogs that I haven't read in a while (once again, Alice was sleeping like a champ), and I read the blog of a woman who had just gotten breast reduction surgery and liposuction on her arms. I have read the blog only sporadically, but the news still surprised me greatly. This is a woman who lives very frugally (in fact, that is why I started reading her blog in the first place) and majored in women's studies in college--a feminist who often discussed body issues with eloquence and knowledge. The blogger was a solid size 12-14, which is around what I was before I lost weight. It amazed me that she would feel such a surgery is warranted and would spend the money on it. But, the more I thought about it, the more I respected her decision. I have often thought about such surgeries myself, and even now, post weight loss, would love to have liposuction on my stomach where there is still loose skin (yeah, gross, I know). The only thing that keeps me from it is the cost and an inability to stop my life long enough to actually get and recover from such a procedure--hell, I can barely find the time to update this blog once a month! As I finished reading, I realized that her decision to have the surgery was guided by wanting to be at her best, and yes, looking for that elusive happiness that we all yearn for.
All this has made me think about my own life. Am I really happier now that I have lost weight? Is it a bad reflection on me (and my vanity) if I am? The truth is, I am just at a better place in my life now in lots of ways--my family is complete, I have a job that does not pay well (at all) but is very, very rewarding both to me and my community and still affords me time to spend with my kids, my husband has a job that provides well and that he enjoys (most of the time!), we have a fun, loving marriage and he is still the only person that I would ever want to go on a long car ride with. Being smaller is really just the cherry on top of that sundae. And it is not that I was unhappy before. There were many times when I was bigger that I would catch glimpses of myself in a mirror and feel very pleased with myself and my look--I dressed well and did my best to flatter the extra poundage. But, looking back, I realize all the tiny, often subconscious, things that I did because of the weight. There were many times that I didn't participate in things because I felt too big or was afraid that I couldn't keep up becuase of the weight. Some of these tiny decisions affected my children, and that is not something that I am proud of. Plus, there were the many, many times I would catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror--at my double chin, or the extra rolls in my stomach, and be just totally grossed out by what I saw. No one should be grossed out by looking in the mirror.
I will say, relatedly, that I am much more aware of my body now, and maybe even a bit harder on myself. There are days now that I wake up and feel like an absolute whale--when the love handles that haven't totally disappeared yet seem huge and when my calves (which I have worked on incessantly, and ladies and gentleman, that shit ain't fun) seem like tree trunks. This is probably slightly insane, but I almost feel like I have a reverse body dysmorphia thing going on. When I was bigger, I would look at myself and think that I looked amazing, and then see pictures later and not even be able to recognize myself. Where did that double chin come from? Are my arms seriously ham hock-esque? Now that I am thinner, I get that feeling a lot, but it is more when I am just looking, not in pictures. Weird, huh? I was talking about it to my mom, and she said it is just because I am not used to myself yet. I think that is a fair assumption.
So can you be both fat and happy? The answer is, I'm not sure. For me, I don't think I could ever be fat again and be happy with myself. Mostly because, at this point, I know what kind of health issues could be related to the extra weight. That line is different for everybody though. Just as I don't think there are any hard and fast rules for fashion or raising your children, there are no guidelines for one's feelings about his or her weight. But it is interesting to think about.
I have thought about the article a lot over the past week, and even more when last night, I was enjoying myself on the computer and catching up on blogs that I haven't read in a while (once again, Alice was sleeping like a champ), and I read the blog of a woman who had just gotten breast reduction surgery and liposuction on her arms. I have read the blog only sporadically, but the news still surprised me greatly. This is a woman who lives very frugally (in fact, that is why I started reading her blog in the first place) and majored in women's studies in college--a feminist who often discussed body issues with eloquence and knowledge. The blogger was a solid size 12-14, which is around what I was before I lost weight. It amazed me that she would feel such a surgery is warranted and would spend the money on it. But, the more I thought about it, the more I respected her decision. I have often thought about such surgeries myself, and even now, post weight loss, would love to have liposuction on my stomach where there is still loose skin (yeah, gross, I know). The only thing that keeps me from it is the cost and an inability to stop my life long enough to actually get and recover from such a procedure--hell, I can barely find the time to update this blog once a month! As I finished reading, I realized that her decision to have the surgery was guided by wanting to be at her best, and yes, looking for that elusive happiness that we all yearn for.
All this has made me think about my own life. Am I really happier now that I have lost weight? Is it a bad reflection on me (and my vanity) if I am? The truth is, I am just at a better place in my life now in lots of ways--my family is complete, I have a job that does not pay well (at all) but is very, very rewarding both to me and my community and still affords me time to spend with my kids, my husband has a job that provides well and that he enjoys (most of the time!), we have a fun, loving marriage and he is still the only person that I would ever want to go on a long car ride with. Being smaller is really just the cherry on top of that sundae. And it is not that I was unhappy before. There were many times when I was bigger that I would catch glimpses of myself in a mirror and feel very pleased with myself and my look--I dressed well and did my best to flatter the extra poundage. But, looking back, I realize all the tiny, often subconscious, things that I did because of the weight. There were many times that I didn't participate in things because I felt too big or was afraid that I couldn't keep up becuase of the weight. Some of these tiny decisions affected my children, and that is not something that I am proud of. Plus, there were the many, many times I would catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror--at my double chin, or the extra rolls in my stomach, and be just totally grossed out by what I saw. No one should be grossed out by looking in the mirror.
I will say, relatedly, that I am much more aware of my body now, and maybe even a bit harder on myself. There are days now that I wake up and feel like an absolute whale--when the love handles that haven't totally disappeared yet seem huge and when my calves (which I have worked on incessantly, and ladies and gentleman, that shit ain't fun) seem like tree trunks. This is probably slightly insane, but I almost feel like I have a reverse body dysmorphia thing going on. When I was bigger, I would look at myself and think that I looked amazing, and then see pictures later and not even be able to recognize myself. Where did that double chin come from? Are my arms seriously ham hock-esque? Now that I am thinner, I get that feeling a lot, but it is more when I am just looking, not in pictures. Weird, huh? I was talking about it to my mom, and she said it is just because I am not used to myself yet. I think that is a fair assumption.
So can you be both fat and happy? The answer is, I'm not sure. For me, I don't think I could ever be fat again and be happy with myself. Mostly because, at this point, I know what kind of health issues could be related to the extra weight. That line is different for everybody though. Just as I don't think there are any hard and fast rules for fashion or raising your children, there are no guidelines for one's feelings about his or her weight. But it is interesting to think about.
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