Friday, March 5, 2010

How to Soothe a Teething, Fussy Baby in Three Easy Steps

1. Acquire a Maya wrap or comparable ring sling. Put baby in hip carry. Check the mirror to make sure that both of you look like as awesome as Naomi Watts and Liev Shrieber when they wear theirs. (Ok, yeah, nothing looks as awesome as Liev. Not even piles of Manolos and cupcakes. NOTHING.)

2. Turn on VH1's Greatest Songs of the 90's. Proceed to dance and sing along to every song that gets played. Enjoy the commentary, but mostly just sing and dance. Baby will laugh initially, and possibly squeal. Older children will shake their heads, promise to never, ever be like you, and then retreat.

3. Dance. Get a good hour of cardio. Don't even stop on commercials--just use that time to warble Wonderwall at the top of your lungs. Go and check mirror again. Baby will be asleep by the time Vanilla Ice rocks the mike like a vandal.

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